What comes to mind when you think of Middle School PE? For me, it is always the dreaded mile. The day the teacher would send us out to the field and say go run around the track two times, then run the outline of the softball fields; with all your peers racing you. And I’ll never forget the chart hanging in the locker room of the times we were supposed to be shooting for based on our ages — if memory serves me right, it was something like a 7-minute mile should be achievable by all of us. And if that’s not correct, that’s what I felt like I was being told I needed to try to achieve every time they sent us out to run. 

I didn’t hate PE. I didn’t hate physical activity. 20+ years later, I’m now realizing I didn’t know how to run — and it wasn’t something anyone was teaching us. The teachers would just say “go” and we were off. I always tried to find a few friends to “run” with but there was no such thing as pacing ourselves. We’d finish the first lap only to be told to pick up the pace — we were already behind; but in reality we’d all started as quickly as we could and were completely exhausted already. 

Running didn’t get easier as I got older either. In High School asthma held me back and again there was never any instruction on how to run. When we were told to go, that’s all there was to it — here’s the course, come back when you’re done. 

For years I’ve had gym memberships on and off. I’ll get on a treadmill but I never go above 4 for speed. I worry about falling off, but I also worry about what I’ll look like. The other people on treadmills are full-on running making it look easy, at a pace of 8 or 9. In my head I imagine how clunky I’ll look if I kick it up to 5. I usually don’t worry about other people’s perceptions but this I just can’t get myself to try it. 

The gym isn’t the only place people exercise though, every day I see people walking and running outside. I envy them. There is no monthly fee to step out their door, lace up their shoes, and get going. I have amazing friends who post pictures from their runs. Photos show the beautiful scenery and celebratory meals of deliciousness to make up for the calories they’ve just burned; and even more, enticing their sweaty selfies with huge smiles because they’ve just done something for themselves. 

It should be easy to just lace-up shoes and head outside and start running! However as soon as I go outside the flashbacks to middle school PE return. How the hell am I supposed to know how to run? How do I pace myself? Sure I can walk as fast as I believe some people jog. Although if I’m ever going to enjoy getting outside and going for a “run” I knew I needed to learn how.

Don’t be mistaken, Grammarly didn’t forget to suggest that I not put quotes around run, it’s not a typo. Run is in quotes because 2 months ago I didn’t think I’d be able to learn to run or become a “runner”. Imposter syndrome is real!

But when a global pandemic hits and I am now at my house all day, every day with three other humans, two of which are 3 years old and 6 years old, mama needed a mental break and some alone time. Lacing up my shoes and walking out the door for 30-45 minutes at a time before anyone else got out of bed seemed like the perfect escape. 

So on Saturday, April 18 I laced up a 3-year-old pair of tennis shoes that I had bought when my youngest was born so I could do stroller walks; but have since been seldom used and traded in for flip flops on family walks because we go at toddler speed instead of this mom’s mall-walking speed. 

When I walked out the door that morning I had a few concerns: 

• How far should I go? 
• Should I walk or try to run? 
• What should I listen to? 
• What should my route be?
• What if I have to go to the bathroom?
• What is the best route so if I have to go to the bathroom I can come back home?

As I took my first steps, I turned on my GoogleFit app and start tracking my distance. I couldn’t decide where to go so I walked all the streets in my neighborhood, which isn’t huge but definitely has 2 pretty big hills. I ended up doing my usual speed walking and listening to an audiobook. I was always close enough to home that if I decided I’d need to go to the bathroom I could (I’m sure this is TMI but I have to imagine other people think about that too!). When I made it back home that day I had gone 2.96 miles in 44 minutes. Those forty-four minutes were GLORIOUS… it was my first bit of uninterrupted alone time in over a month. I immediately wanted more. 

Completing almost 3 miles in 44 minutes was satisfying. It also got me thinking that if I knew how to pace myself, could I get to 3.1 miles in 40 minutes, or 35 minutes, or even someday 30 minutes? Someday, when 5K’s are held in person again, would I be able to show up to a Thanksgiving Turkey Trot and run (no quotes needed because I’d be a real runner) from start to finish and keep a pace? It was exhilarating to think about but also daunting because finding a running coach was going to be a little hard thanks to CORONAVIRUS! 

One thing Coronoavirus hasn’t slowed down though — people sharing on social media. And low and behold, while watching Instagram Stories I saw Carly Anderson of LipglossAndCrayons talking about the Peloton App and how she’d been using it for run coaching outdoors. I had to tap back and listen again because I wasn’t sure I caught the name of the app right. If she was talking about the Peloton I know of, all they did was spin bikes. Come to find out, I was wrong. Peloton, also has a treadmill and a standalone app that can be used with their at-home fitness equipment or you can use it with your own equipment, at the gym, or outdoors. And the best part is the app has a free trial. Carly shared how the app actually coaches you during walks or runs via audio. I downloaded it right away. 

The first video I watched, from bed. I wasn’t ready to commit to taking it outdoors until I knew what it was going to be like. I watched one of the coaches do a run on a treadmill; she was super motivating, and gave great instructions — but she was on a treadmill. My next thought was I must have missed something though. Weren’t the coaching sessions meant for indoors or outdoor? The problem was I didn’t know what a 5 on the treadmill would be outside running. I turned off the app, and deleted it from my phone. 

It was an entire week later before I saw Carly talking about the app again. She showed that there was an “outdoor” set of coaching that I hadn’t scrolled far enough over to see. I re-downloaded the app and set out for a 20-minute Walk+Run at 5:57 a.m. with Matty Maggiacomo. The music selection was on point. Matty’s coaching was seriously like having someone right next to you telling you what to do, how long you had left, and giving encouragement. He broke down what good form looked like, talked about knowing how hard to run based on your perceived exertion. It was exactly what I needed. 

Flash forward to now. It’s late May and I’ve been using the Peloton App and run tracking apps for just over a month. Every day I am still waking up energized, excited to get out of bed as the sun is rising. A lot of that is thanks to the solo me time, but I feel good physically too. 

Yesterday morning, when I left the house I said to myself: “I’m going to run/jog one mile without walking”. I turned on the peloton app, I set my run tracker to go and I headed out of the house. 11 minutes and 12 seconds later I had completed 1-mile of continuous running. 

PEOPLE — I DON’T THINK I EVEN RAN AN ELEVEN MINUTE MILE IN MIDDLE SCHOOL!!! I am so dang proud of myself. And again, notice the word ran isn’t in quotes because I freaking did it!! I ran a full mile. 

When my run tracker said “you’ve gone one mile” I slowed down, allowed myself to walk, take in some water, and switch over to an audiobook; and just absorb the next 20 minutes of alone time. 

I don’t plan on always running a full mile, or a 5K to start the day. However to know that I can, is a pretty awesome feeling. It makes me want to continue to be able to practice. My new goals include signing up for 5K’s or eventually a half marathons. Especially ones that I can do, on pace, with the runners who have inspired me!

If you’re in need of some alone time, physical activity, or a mental break I cannot more highly recommend just lacing up some shoes and getting started.